I wish I could put into words everything that is running thru my mind right now. I know that sounds crazy, but it's how I feel! if this blog is all over the place, it's only a reflection of my current state of mind. However, don't be alarmed...God's got me.
So our pastor wants us to be involved in at least one ministry at church. The one ministry I had been wanting to do since August (dance ministry), that door has been shut for now. I don't know how to feel about it. I like to dance. I don't have the resources (time/money) to do dance ministry.
School is going. I have a pretty low grade in a class that is not required for my major but certainly counts towards my elective credits for my degree. I'm 3 weeks away from the end of the semester, and that brings me so much joy! Upon receipt of getting my grades, I'm organizing a pre-graduation celebration! lol. I'm so serious! This was my hard semester...all I'll have to do next semester is maintain!
My ministry internship I just accepted, I had no idea where to start. I'm not as active as I would like to be on campus, and I don't have alot of friends who just want to up and start a campus ministry with me. I'm praying God sends some people my way. I have a vision of what I would like to see on campus in a ministry, but I don't know how to carry it out.
I've had some opportunities presented to me that I never even thought would come about. Some exciting ones at that! We'll see what becomes of them...
ASB isn't happening like it used to in 2010. It was a good three year run for me, but I'll actually be in town for my 24th bday, haven't been in town for my bday since I turned 20. I'm a little sad but three years doing ASB was a blessing.
My money is real funny right now. No really. I'm overdrawn and I can't do much about it. Had to reschedule my drivers test, that is postponed til December 5th...for now...
There's so much that is going on in my life that is out of my control. I can't do anything, my hands are tied, all I can do is trust God. I mean what else can you do when everything seems to be spiraling out of control but not really?
When I say that, I mean there's just so much going on in life that I can't do a thing about! I choose not to stress over it, because it's not all bad. I'm really truly blessed in all actuality. Beyond the one class I'm not doing good in, school is fine actually. Me and my babe are best friends, like two peas in a pod, and doing really good!
What a difference a year makes in so many ways...this time last year I HAD to be out doing something all the time. I HAD to be out, I HATED being at home by myself. But funny...this year? Complete opposite. The more comfortable you are with the skin you're in, the more you dont mind spending time with your #1 star player...yourself...
The closer I get to graduation, the more I can't see myself doing anything but going to seminary. I'm very much at peace with that right now...we'll see how I feel once I actually put that application in the mail. LOL. but no really...I can't see myself anywhere else. Is that scary? Sometimes. But I'm appreciative of the church I belong to...my pastor really instills the importance of education, and his passion for teaching sound doctrine and reaching the lost thru non-traditional ministry has influenced me greatly, made me realize I want to do the same! Thats a big deal, considering that before I came to this church, I wanted NOTHING to do with ministry...so yes, thats a testimony!
There's just alot going on in my life but honestly? Beyond wondering what the heck is going on, I'm actually in a great mood, I'm HAPPY. I think sometimes it's good not to know all the answers. It requires me to trust in God a little more and rely on myself a LOT less.
God is So good, and I thank God for the sunshine thru the clouds in my life. I'm not always productive, and I've made some mistakes but I know that God wastes NOTHING. He's the only one that can turn my giant jumble I call life into something amazingly beautiful...it'll most certainly be my testimony...
So I'm doing what God is leading me to do for now...finish school out strong, do the best that I can (and leave the rest to Him)...getting ready to apply to seminary...and the rest? Yeah, God will lead me on what to do with everything else. He is faithful and can do anything but fail. Sorry if some of this is repetitive, I wrote this post in stages! lol.
No comments:
Post a Comment