Actually making it in bed before 1am: SHOCKER! yes for me that is rare, but it needs to become habit! I need my sleep!

But before my head hits the pillow, I stumbled upon some pictures of my brother and his son. Stirred up some feelings that I didn't really wanna have. I kinda wanted to write about it for a minute.

To my brother:
I think I've started to accept reality. You know, the one without you in it.
I used to think that maybe one day, you'd want to be a big brother. Honestly, I don't even take it personal anymore. You care, but you have a funny way of showing it. No need for me to waste my time in calling and everything when your actions show differently. you are still my brother, nothin will ever change that. When you want to be in me and my sisters lives, cool. If not, then I'm not gonna sweat it. Of course it hurts, that my only brother doesn't keep in touch or care, or that I have a nephew that I've never met. But that is life, huh? Love you, and if you ever decide you want to be apart of my life, I'll be here. But if not...well...your loss.

love, lil sis, Dei.