and it's TRUTH.
I've grown up in church all my life and I've become disillusioned by it. Just so much that goes on in the church that has just been a complete turn off. There have been times in the recent months that I just wanted to take a break from church for a little while. I love my church, so it wasn't my pastor or any particular people at my church but I was just FED UP with how other Christians were acting. People who were professing to be 'Christians' slandering, talking about others, doing things that weren't the slightest bit 'Christ-like'. It was really disturbing.
People who know me know that I'm bound to rant every now and then on facebook or twitter but it's all out of love. I'm tired of people literally tearing down what has been built.
I've been thru a somewhat dark time in the last 1o months or so...had a few days of sunshine but really, just been in the dark as far as me not being able to see or feel where God had me. I didn't try to stress myself out or fret about it...really, I KNOW about God's Grace and GOODNESS and I know that even when I feel alone, I'm NOT. I was assured of my salvation and that God would never let me get too far out to the point that I just totally lost my mind. NO, throughout this whole time period, I've always loved God. Didn't always show it, and that I'm ashamed of...
anyways enough rambling.
It's CRAZY how God uses our names to reveal our purpose.
My name is Deidre Michelle, which literally means "Sorrow, who is like God"...basically God wants to take what makes me sad, mad, angry, frustrated, all of that, to make me more like HIM.
Ironically, one of my favorite songs is by Israel and New Breed, in which Israel Houghton sings "Break my heart with the things that break Your heart."
And that has been happening.
I really wish to see my generation healed and whole. Loving God DEEPLY and having REAL, AUTHENTIC encounters with God. NOTHING holding them back from being all that God has called them to be.
I want them to realize how AMAZING it is to realize God's love at a young age.
I don't want the church to just present Christ in this pretty little bow. It's rather redundant for us to go to church one way and return home the same way. Nah, it's time for the kind of preaching/reaching/teaching that convicts, that stirs us to follow Christ. Time for some real healing, for us to deal with our hurts and issues and bring them to God. Jesus didn't come for the perfect, long skirt wearing, no make up wearing, hymn singing Christians. No offense to you Christians who are like that, but at times, I'm pretty messed up.
I have flaws. I've had some real hurts and issues I had to go to counseling for. My family is a trip. Life gets me down sometimes. I choose to be transparent because growing up, nobody was really REAL with me.
I saw nothing but MESS all around me. And not only did I see MESS around me but I saw people who were not really trying to live right. And THAT bugged me. The God I was introduced to as a kid scared me.
Had me scared to live, to do anything. I was scared I'd mess up God's will for my life. I was scared that if I made a mistake, I'd screw it all up and be a total complete failure. So lots of times, I did nothing. And doing nothing is the worst thing you can do.
Let me draw this to a close (because I have MUCH more to say but I can't say it all tonight)...it's time for me to stop complaining, stop venting my frustrations without placing some action behind it.
The shift is on the horizon. The paradigm shift is on the horizon, it's here. I've always been an outsider, a peculiar kid and now I know why...
If you're in the "in crowd", you can't see the paradigm shift. You're so involved and wrapped up in what's going on that you don't notice the changes that are on the way. Outsiders, are always and have always been, better positioned to see the paradigm shift coming.
The in crowd doesn't like change. They'd rather hold on to tradition, what has gotten them "in."
But those days are drawing to a close.
Tradition has locked sooo many folks OUT. Pushed people away from Christ and Christianity.
Those days are about to be over. The shift is on the horizon. Not everyone can feel it. If you can feel it, God's calling you to be a part of it. It's time to build the Kingdom. Enough with the playing church, we must prepare for Christ's return.
It's said in the bible that Christ is coming back for a church without spot or wrinkle. It's time to prepare the church for Christ's return because His return is eminent.
The shift is on the way...
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