Life as I know it-not at all what I expected!

I stole part of the title from an acquaintance I had the privilege of serving with at United Way's ASB program down in SWLA (Southwest Louisiana)...her blog title is "Life as I know it" now that she's living in Korea, teaching English! I have another close friend who is about to head over there in the spring to teach english!

I'm EXTREMELY proud of my peers! We're all growing up! We're 25/24 now, 6 years removed from high school and all doing great things! One of my HS classmates (amongst several) just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, I just got married in July, most of my friends are in school working on their degrees, while others have already finished, moved, and started their careers! Others I know are proudly serving our country in the military either stateside or abroad (BE SAFE y'all!). A large majority of my friends are living (or at least pursuing) their dreams (old, new or revised!) and that makes me happy to see that!

Life is NOTHING like I thought it would be...and I'm happy with that! A year ago today, I was visiting UPS (Union Presbyterian Seminary) and falling in love with the place! While I didn't get accepted, it seriously challenged and changed my view of true Christianity, and just life in general. It really, honestly, turned my life upside down. That weekend was a catalyst for just a major life change for me.

I'll be 25 in March and I'm content with where i am in life. I graduate with my bachelors degree officially in December, me and my husband just moved into our first apartment together that we LOVE (no seriously we LOVE IT lol). to me, 25 kinda marks a new phase of my life I'll be entering.

When I say life is nothing what I expected it to be, I really mean it. Especially as far as my faith is concerned.

No need to be worried, my faith in God and Christ cannot be shaken from its' foundation but I'm wondering if this is what Christianity was designed to be. So far, the answer I've gotten is NO. All the things I considered taboo...well, let's just say for now I don't. Most things are not inherently bad in themselves, they're just not good for US. And that changes from individual to individual.

If I told people what my life was like right now, especially spiritually, some may be worried. I'm not. I'm not praying EVERY SINGLE DAY (or even reading my bible every day). I am currently in a rediscovery mode, to discover what being a Christian is really about. Some days, I'd give it all up to follow CHRIST (you'll catch on to that some days). I don't consider myself religious.

All in all, I'm pleased with where life is taken me thusfar, even if I have made mistakes and haven't had all the answers...as long as God is with me, there's no need to be afraid!

THE SHIFT

"If It's not rooted in Christ, it's not worth holding on to"-something I said on FB today...

and it's TRUTH.

I've grown up in church all my life and I've become disillusioned by it. Just so much that goes on in the church that has just been a complete turn off. There have been times in the recent months that I just wanted to take a break from church for a little while. I love my church, so it wasn't my pastor or any particular people at my church but I was just FED UP with how other Christians were acting. People who were professing to be 'Christians' slandering, talking about others, doing things that weren't the slightest bit 'Christ-like'. It was really disturbing.

People who know me know that I'm bound to rant every now and then on facebook or twitter but it's all out of love. I'm tired of people literally tearing down what has been built.

I've been thru a somewhat dark time in the last 1o months or so...had a few days of sunshine but really, just been in the dark as far as me not being able to see or feel where God had me. I didn't try to stress myself out or fret about it...really, I KNOW about God's Grace and GOODNESS and I know that even when I feel alone, I'm NOT. I was assured of my salvation and that God would never let me get too far out to the point that I just totally lost my mind. NO, throughout this whole time period, I've always loved God. Didn't always show it, and that I'm ashamed of...

anyways enough rambling.

It's CRAZY how God uses our names to reveal our purpose.

My name is Deidre Michelle, which literally means "Sorrow, who is like God"...basically God wants to take what makes me sad, mad, angry, frustrated, all of that, to make me more like HIM.

Ironically, one of my favorite songs is by Israel and New Breed, in which Israel Houghton sings "Break my heart with the things that break Your heart."

And that has been happening.

I really wish to see my generation healed and whole. Loving God DEEPLY and having REAL, AUTHENTIC encounters with God. NOTHING holding them back from being all that God has called them to be.

I want them to realize how AMAZING it is to realize God's love at a young age.

I don't want the church to just present Christ in this pretty little bow. It's rather redundant for us to go to church one way and return home the same way. Nah, it's time for the kind of preaching/reaching/teaching that convicts, that stirs us to follow Christ. Time for some real healing, for us to deal with our hurts and issues and bring them to God. Jesus didn't come for the perfect, long skirt wearing, no make up wearing, hymn singing Christians. No offense to you Christians who are like that, but at times, I'm pretty messed up.

I have flaws. I've had some real hurts and issues I had to go to counseling for. My family is a trip. Life gets me down sometimes. I choose to be transparent because growing up, nobody was really REAL with me.

I saw nothing but MESS all around me. And not only did I see MESS around me but I saw people who were not really trying to live right. And THAT bugged me. The God I was introduced to as a kid scared me.

Had me scared to live, to do anything. I was scared I'd mess up God's will for my life. I was scared that if I made a mistake, I'd screw it all up and be a total complete failure. So lots of times, I did nothing. And doing nothing is the worst thing you can do.

Let me draw this to a close (because I have MUCH more to say but I can't say it all tonight)...it's time for me to stop complaining, stop venting my frustrations without placing some action behind it.

The shift is on the horizon. The paradigm shift is on the horizon, it's here. I've always been an outsider, a peculiar kid and now I know why...

If you're in the "in crowd", you can't see the paradigm shift. You're so involved and wrapped up in what's going on that you don't notice the changes that are on the way. Outsiders, are always and have always been, better positioned to see the paradigm shift coming.

The in crowd doesn't like change. They'd rather hold on to tradition, what has gotten them "in."

But those days are drawing to a close.

Tradition has locked sooo many folks OUT. Pushed people away from Christ and Christianity.

Those days are about to be over. The shift is on the horizon. Not everyone can feel it. If you can feel it, God's calling you to be a part of it. It's time to build the Kingdom. Enough with the playing church, we must prepare for Christ's return.

It's said in the bible that Christ is coming back for a church without spot or wrinkle. It's time to prepare the church for Christ's return because His return is eminent.

The shift is on the way...

Christianity, Religion, and my 0.02

Part of me wants to question why we, as a people, continue to blast each other for their beliefs. Christians tell non-believers they're going to hell (and not in nice ways either). Atheists/Agnostics/Skeptics blast Christians (and other religions but mostly Christianity) for their beliefs. What is to be gained from that?

This is all my OPINION, so dont go quoting my stuff as GOSPEL, ok?

I really truly believe that we, as Christians, turn people off from our religion by our inability to love. Our inability to love one another, those who are the same as us, those who are different. Instead of sowing love (as St. Francis of Assisi suggests in a prayer he wrote), we sow hatred. We sow discord. Then when we reap discord and hatred, we wonder why.

Most people do not have a problem with Jesus Christ, they have a problem with US, those of us who are FOLLOWERS of Christ. Even I, as a Christian, I cringe at times to see fellow Christians putting others down. There are days I don't want to even be called a Christian, because it's that bad.

I understand that many do not understand how blacks, especially, follow a faith that was formerly used to enslave us back during slavery. yes, it's true that many slave owners used scripture to control and subdue their slaves. So basically, I shouldn't follow CHRIST just because men misused and abused and twisted the Word of God? Basically I shouldn't follow Christ because some men killed in the name of religion during the Crusades? Sorry but I don't base my decisions on how men have manipulated religion for THEIR gain. They will be judged by God, surely, but that does not influence my decision to follow Christ.

Yes I am aware that MAN chose those 66 books of the bible to be included and that some were left out, due to incongruency, some say, others say due to socio-political reasons. As long as humans are involved, there is no such thing as perfect ANYTHING!

I'm still learning, still reading, still experiencing life for myself, but I know God to be real. Yes, there are some things that have happened in my life that cannot be explained, while others some may chalk to coincidence. Still, call it what you may, but I will not abandon my faith. My faith is on solid ground.

I am determined to loving all those I come in contact with. I don't care if you're gay, straight, black, white, Jewish, Muslim, Agnostic, Atheist, Skeptic, Buddhist-whatever! It is not my intent to preach at people or to live as if Christians are the only ones with morals, because we are not! I know I get sick of people shoving scripture down my throat so I will not do it to others.

The black church as a whole (in general, speaking in general terms) is largely ignorant to quite a few things, we are content on doing what has been done, repeating what we've been told, even if it has NO biblical basis. Quite a few cliches have been passed down that many would be quite surprised to discover that they are not ANYWHERE in the bible and are simply not true. Many songs we sing in the church (especially black churches) have no biblical foundation either. I think it is officially time to come out of a religious mindset and open up our minds enough to LOVE others. Don't avoid people who aren't like you. You never know what they could teach YOU. Let's read some books that arent typically read in the black community. Let's learn about John Calvin, Martin Luther, St. Augustine, St. Francis of Assisi, St. Ignatius. let's learn about the Reformation & the 95 Theses! OPENING YOUR MIND will not cause you to lose your faith! It should strengthen it! If you do lose your faith, I'm willing to suggest that you never had it to begin with!

I'm at times, ashamed of the faith that I professed at times because we're supposed to be earthly representatives of Christ but most of the time, we're not even close.

Okay this is all I can write for now. I need to go to seminary man. In the meantime, I need to start reading everything I can get my hands on.

I welcome a dialogue about this. Let's talk! I just ask that you be respectful and mindful of DIFFERENT views, thats all!

Reminders from God

I'm currently in a situation (it's not the first) where not everyone understands where I'm coming from. Ok so thats not a situation, thats the norm. But this time, it doesn't just involve me it involves someone else as well. And we've taken hits from every side. We've had PLENTY of support but we've also taken some hits from those who mean the MOST to us.

The other night I got some news and I was a little worried.I came home and wanted to pray but God said "why stay up all night praying/worrying? get some rest and let me handle it." So thats what I did. Well I did go to bed eventually, just not right away lol.

That worry tried to creep back yesterday so I tried to distract myself by doing other things. Finally I came home and realized that in worrying, I was really not fully trusting God to handle it for me. I had to be reminded that if I am obedient and following GOD, HE will handle any and EVERY opposition that tries to cut short/abort your dreams!

See you have to realize-when GOD has an ASSIGNMENT for you, PURPOSE for your life, when He has CALLED you to something, opposition WILL come! Resistance WILL come, it's necessary for growth in our faith, our walk with God. We MUST have courage and trust God to know that if He called us to something, He will NOT let ANYTHING prevail in preventing us from our destiny, our purpose! Things WILL try to stand in the way, sometimes in the form of loved ones, of people who care about us. They mean well, but they are unaware of God's plans for our lives!

Because of this, they sometimes stand in opposition of what God has for us, because they do not know that it's God. PLEASE stand firm, God wants to strengthen you, and TEST you through that opposition! Yes it may hurt but just KNOW, KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that if you obey, if you follow GOD and you're sure this is what HE wants...this is not your battle to fight. It is not your job to convince someone else of God's plans. Pray and then let God handle it...He can handle it MUCH better than any of us can! You never know what God can do! At some point, ALL opposition MUST FLEE! Every knee shall bow, every tongue MUST confess that JESUS CHRIST IS LORD! You trying to convince the opposition of God's plans will prove to be FUTILE...God will go to GREAT LENGTHS to show others WHO HE IS! So even if He has to use YOU to get through to your opposition, trust, He will do it!

God wants to get the glory, it's NOT ABOUT YOU! So let God handle it! Relax, God's got this!

Numbering our days

What is your focus on? What are your priorities?

Check your heart.

What is your heart set on? I mean really...what do you place all your hopes and trust in?

Check where you spend most of your time.

I'm preaching to myself right here, because I spend FAR too much time on the internet. Not enough time in my Word or with HIM. Not good enough.

TV is not the problem. I don't watch alot of TV, maybe less than 20 hours a week, most of that being football so it's less during other sports seasons. But then I don't spend time developing the gifts God has given me, or working towards the assignment God has called me to. I waste too much time. I confide in you all for two reasons: 1) To be transparent and 2) for you all to hold me accountable. I'm called to lead, and I'm supposed to be writing books, seriously y'all. I'm a writer. Thats what I do. And how many chapters of a book do I have written?

One. Yup, just one. I've gotta do better.

I love what Psalms 90:12 says: So teach us to number our days, That we may present to You a heart of wisdom.

I want God to teach me to number my days correctly, so that I won't end everyday thinking, "I don't have enough time." That's actually far from true. God gave us just enough time in a day, 24 hours...having priorities in check can lead to more productive and fruitful time and having more than enough time for everything.

Many of us made new years resolutions or made promises that this year would be different. Well, is your strategy different? Most of us, our goals are not reached due to TWO main factors: Time and MONEY. If we learn to manage both well, we'd be well on our way. We do not have control over everything, but that which we are in control of, let us be good stewards over it!

Lord, teach us to number our days...